Step 2 of 2 — your plan
Tech safety
Check your tech — carefully
Phones, cars, and shared accounts are common ways people are monitored. Go slowly: suddenly cutting off access can tip someone off. Read first, document, then change things in a safe order.
Tip: if you share this device, use a private / incognito window so this visit isn't saved in your history.
Trust the pattern, not one odd moment.
- They know things they shouldn't, or where you've been.
- They reference private messages or searches.
- Your battery or data drains unusually fast.
- You find unknown apps or device-management profiles.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Look, don't change yet:
- Is your Apple ID / Google account shared, or does someone else know the password?
- Find My / Google location sharing: who can see you?
- Family Sharing / Family Link: are you in someone's family group?
- Unknown MDM or configuration profiles (Settings → General → VPN & Device Management).
- Unfamiliar apps with accessibility or device-admin permissions.
- Backups (photos, messages) syncing to a shared account.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Small Bluetooth trackers are cheap and easy to hide.
- Take unknown AirTag / Tile / SmartTag alerts seriously.
- iPhone shows alerts automatically; on Android, use "Unknown tracker alerts" in Settings to scan.
- Check bags, coat pockets, the car, and kids' items and toys.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Modern cars can report where they are.
- Connected-car apps from the manufacturer can share location and allow remote control (lock, start, horn).
- Ask who owns the app account linked to your car.
- Aftermarket GPS units can be hidden under seats, bumpers, or in the OBD port.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Smart-home devices are controlled by whoever holds the admin account.
- Smart speakers, cameras, and video doorbells can record or stream.
- Thermostats and locks can show when you're home.
- Find out who owns the admin account for each device.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
These quietly control everything else.
- Check the recovery email and phone number on your important accounts.
- Look for forwarding rules or filters in your email settings.
- Note any shared bank or payment logins.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Timing matters: a sudden lock-out can escalate things, especially around leaving.
- 1. Plan — ideally with an advocate.
- 2. Document — screenshot what you found.
- 3. Use a safer device for the next steps.
- 4. Change recovery email and phone first.
- 5. Then change passwords and turn on two-factor authentication.
If changing something could put you at risk, talk to an advocate first.
Support & resources
- Emergency — 911
- National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-7233 — or text START to 88788 — thehotline.org
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Psychology Today therapist finder.