Printable script sheet
Boundary scripts you can copy
Boundaries are about what YOU will do, not what you hope they will do. Say it once, calmly, and follow through. Expect pushback — that is the boundary working, not failing.
Structure of a working boundary
- Name the behavior calmly.
- State what you will do if it continues.
- Follow through, without new debate.
Personal / partner
- “If the conversation turns to insults, I’m going to leave the room.”
- “I’m not available to talk after 10pm.”
- “I’m not going to discuss my body / weight / past.”
- “I need some time to think. I’ll come back to this tomorrow.”
Family / parent
- “I’m happy to visit for two hours. After that I need to go.”
- “That topic isn’t up for discussion. Let’s change subjects.”
- “I’ve made my decision and I’m at peace with it.”
- “No.” (Complete sentence — no justification required.)
Co-parent (BIFF — brief, informative, friendly, firm)
- “Thanks for the note. Pickup is Friday 5pm at the school.”
- “Please put schedule changes in writing so I don’t miss them.”
- “I won’t discuss our history. I’ll respond to logistics only.”
Work
- “To confirm what we agreed: I’ll do X by Friday, you’ll cover Y. Correct me if I misunderstood.”
- “I want to do this well — can we align on priorities?”
- “I’m not able to take on additional scope this week without dropping something.”
When they push back
- Repeat the same sentence calmly (“broken-record”).
- Don’t offer new reasons — they become new things to argue with.
- Follow through the first time. It teaches the boundary is real.